Kicking on the inside


I’m around 22 weeks into my pregnancy and as much as I’d like to admit, this is not a picture of my bump! Pretty cool though right?

This stage, has brought with it the joy of feeling our baby’s first movements. At first it felt like small bubbles popping! Or wind!… but I was reliably informed these movements were not to be confused with wind- rather they were my baby’s first kicks!

Then when we found out the baby was a ‘SHE’ it all became more real. Pretty much from 18 weeks on she began to kick stronger each day.

I can feel her move throughout the day- she’s definitely making her presence known! They say you begin to notice a pattern of your baby’s movements around this stage- well, our little one wriggles around whenever something’s going on; food time (just like her Dad!) when something interesting’s going on, but mostly when I’m just about to go to sleep!

As I lie wide awake once again due to her summersaults and kicking, I’m reminded of how powerful her presence is. I can’t see her yet, but I  feel her move throughout the day, and she’s changing me, not just physically but in all manner of ways; my attitude to life and situations, my capacity to love more than I ever thought was possible- and much more!

And as I thought about this, I had a revelation- this is just like our experience with the Holy Spirit!

You can’t physically see it, but it’s something you feel on the inside! Gradually changing you, for the better. Convicting you, never leaves you and stirs up emotions and feelings to let you know he is there guiding you. You can begin, just as when pregnant, to recognise his patterns of movement in your life.

1 Corinthians 6:19 ‘Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own’

When I used to go shopping, if I was looking in the sale rack I used to sometimes take the sticky label off a cheap item and put it on the one I wanted! I know- BAD! This year, although the thought came into my head and I was tempted- I could feel the Holy Spirit convict me of how wrong that would be- to lie and be dishonest. If you’ve seen the film ‘liar liar’ it was just like the moment when he tried to say the pen is blue when it’s red! I physically couldn’t tear off that sticker!!

I share this because I’ve always found it really difficult to grasp who the Holy Spirit is and what he does- how do we know he’s there?

I hear so many Christians talk about the spirit; let it guide you, be filled with the spirit, the Holy Spirit is prompting you, guiding you! -and I’ve always felt completely confused! Often I’ve nodded politely, smiled and walked away still none the wiser, thinking I understood when I clearly didn’t.

But this morning, at 5am! I finally understand.

As the months pass by, the kicking will become stronger where I’m more aware of her presence. I’ll have a more in-depth understanding of her movement pattern whereby I can almost predict when she’s going to kick. And so just as with her movements, I realised the same applies to our experience and relationship with the Holy Spirit!

The more time we spend with God, the more I believe both you and I will be filled with the Holy Spirit! And the longer we walk with him, the more frequently we will recognise his kicks on the inside! How he moves in our life! When he turns up the most. You will feel him moving on the inside throughout the day so you’re not alone. This may be physical, but mostly spiritual in that he will; convict you, give you peace, guide you, fill you and make you whole! He will change a hard heart, lift depression, lighten the heavy load you bear, prompt you to walk over to the homeless person- prompt you to do anything infact! And you will begin to notice this – the longer your pregnancy (metaphorically speaking) or your walk with God goes on- the more you will get to know him and recognise his presence.


Ezekiel 36:26-27 ‘And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.’


Galatians 5:22-23 ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control’

And although no one can feel the Holy spirit for you, and you may find it difficult to explain to people, they will be able to see a gradual outward change in your disposition, attitude, personality – and all things good!

Don’t hear me wrong guys- I am using my pregnancy as a metaphor.

I am merely using my experience so far of feeling my baby’s kicks on the inside to explain how this blessing for Carl and I has helped me to understand the characteristics of the Holy Spirit!

Get to know him! Spend time with him and be assured – He will kick and you will feel him, but it’s more of a gentle nudge in the right direction! He will persist, though with a gentleman demeanour, until you listen because he wants the best for you!

John 14:16-17 ‘And I will ask the father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.’

You will recognise him as I have discovered, but as with anyone, the less time you spend with someone the less familiar you become.

This can be hard- I know! Honestly until now, I’ve thrown the ‘Holy Spirit! word around so flippantly over the years. So I’m by no means saying this will be easy and I’m definitely not professing that I have got this down to a tee! But all I can say is, that now I fully understand (the concept that is) of the holy spirit, I can’t wait to spend more time with him- just like I can’t wait to spend time with my Daughter!

So I’m aiming to spend more time in his presence, getting to know him and letting him give me a good old kick! We all need it sometimes!


2 thoughts on “Kicking on the inside

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