Hope

 

cropped-cherry-blossom-hd.jpg

As my due date fast approaches, I’m reminded of just how truly blessed we are. Just over 10 months ago we suffered a miscarriage and we lost our sweet baby who we named Hope. In that season, we wouldn’t have dreamed that our blessing of new life was just around the corner.

Now, we wait in anticipation and excitement as 9 months soon become a countdown of weeks till our little girl arrives; yet I still so vividly remember my precious pregnancy with Hope. As the anniversary of losing her will soon arrive, I am reminded of why we gave her this name; to symbolise and remind us that we have Hope for the future. Our beautiful baby girl who we’ll meet in just under 9 weeks is living proof of the Hope we were promised.

Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

I know there are women whose hearts are heavy and aching right now as they’re reminded of the baby they lost; no matter their age, how recent or long ago.

I’m sure in time, my heart will heal and I’ll be able to write about my experience. But for now, I just simply want to say this. If you have lost a baby, regardless of how old; during or after pregnancy- know that God hears your cries, he sees your tears and he is holding you right now. He cradles you in his arms and weeps with you.

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” Psalm 34:15

 “Jesus saw her weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched, and he was deeply moved.…Jesus wept” John 11:33, 35

 He knows your feelings and frustrations.  He’s seen the crisis in your soul. There’s no hurt that goes unnoticed by God. Psalm 56:6 says, “You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my tears.”

 God sees the hurt in your heart like nobody else can.” Pastor Rick Warren

Sweet sister, I am holding you and lifting you up in my prayers- your partners too. My heart breaks with you.

My story and yours will be different- but know this one thing and carry this truth with you; in the moments you feel hopeless, know that there is Hope! Living Hope for your future.

I found this short poem that I wrote only a week after losing our baby Hope. As the anniversary approaches, I thought I would share it in the hope that you, beautiful sister in Christ, will be comforted and know that you are loved.

The link to the song at the end comforted me each day as I listened to the words and even as tears flowed, I found peace and still do from knowing that we will see our baby again in heaven one day.

‘I’ll hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms’

 

2 blue lines appeared on the test

Daddy and I wept tears of joy!

New adventures! New beginnings! What happens next?!

 

Mummy was sick; her body preparing

A bubble for you, safe and caring

 

Each morning I woke

Wondering how you were growing

My belly I’d stroke

Growing bigger each day; yes, I was showing!

 

Your Daddy kissed and cradled my belly

Talking to you and ignoring the telly

 

Resting his head gently upon my bump

Wanting you to know his voice

His way of showing he loved you; you made his heart jump!

 

We dreamed of how you’d look and your personality

The person you’d grow into

Oh how proud we would be!

 

We prayed; asking God for protection

A healthy baby

We’d give you so much affection

 

14 weeks and Mummy’s belly grows bigger

The scan we await

Oh to hear your heartbeat and take home your first picture!

 

‘I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat’ are words I’ll remember forever

As the crushing news came

You hadn’t grown any bigger

 

Our sweet, beautiful baby; we thought you were growing

What happened?

Did you slip away without us knowing?

 

Oh how we dreamed of holding you in our arms,

Watching you take your first steps

Singing you lullaby songs

 

‘Hope’ we’ll call you; you deserve a name

Symbolising hope for our future

And others the same

 

We think of you each day, especially me

As I see other pregnant women

My heart aches ‘oh how I wish it was me!’

 

For now our arms are empty and our heart’s feel numb

We long for the day of seeing your beautiful face, hearing you call us Daddy and Mum!

 

Until then

We know God has you

You are one of his precious children

His special gem

 

Sweet baby Hope, please know

Your Daddy and I love you

You brought so much joy into our lives watching you grow!

 

But for now little one

Until we hold you in our arms, we’ll carry you in our hearts

Sweet baby Hope, you’re our little ray of sun

 

We’ll never forget those 14 weeks

You were more than a bump

A beautiful life who unbeknown to us was fast asleep

 

So wake up sleepy head

Your Heavenly Father’s taking care of you

Until the day comes, when we can instead

 

What a blessing you are and will always be

I feel honoured to have carried you

No matter how short a time it has been

 

Glory Baby: Written by Christy and Nathan Nockels (Watermark)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s