Avoid complacency





20 weeks in, and we’re well into our pregnancy with baby number two.


Another precious gift that God has graced us with. We are truly honoured and so blessed to be entrusted with raising two beautiful children.


It hasn’t all been a walk in the park though.


At only 5 weeks into this this pregnancy, the test showed positive and pretty much straight away, nausea kicked in.


Much like with my previous pregnancies, I expected some illness. Nausea in particular seems to be what grips me when carrying mini humans! What a treat!


This pregnancy though, hit a new level. I was floored.


Sickening nausea at its most extreme, I often wondered how I’d care for Ava from one day to the next.


Nothing helped, despite trying all the old wives tales and remedies. No amount of ginger tea or biscuits, anti-sickness bands, food or hot water bottles eased the relentless nausea that had come to kill, steal and destroy any joy I had left for this pregnancy.


It was horrendous and at that point, I could completely relate to how some women are hospitalised during their first trimester with this particular pregnancy symptom.


But there is always light at the end of the tunnel as they say. Sometimes the growing and preparation is the hardest right?


I knew, as with Ava that at around 18 weeks this would all ease- although sometimes it’s worse knowing a time frame. I remember hearing the midwife during Ava’s birth telling Carl I had an hour of pushing before the head would be birthed. Sometimes it’s just better not knowing!


Sure enough, 18 weeks came and I gradually felt the nausea subside. My appetite was slowly returning, as was my craving for sugary foods once more- Wahay!


Chocolate I had missed you! Although I’d been off anything sweet for so long, I had to wean myself back on it!


Then came the moment I’d been waiting for. The monumental experience that for me, makes pregnancy all the more real. It brings alive this little being growing inside of you, and very quickly brings realisation that this is in fact, a real person!


Those first kicks!


It’s an amazing feeling and shifts me from gliding along with pregnancy, into- WOW, this is really happening! In just over 4 months time I will be meeting this little person.


But if I’m honest, I have succumbed to a state of complacency more often than I’d like to admit in this pregnancy.


With Ava, everything was new. Every experience had never been felt, experienced or observed before. I’d never heard a baby’s heartbeat, let alone our own for the first time. Never witnessed my tummy stretch and swell day by day as much as it did going full term with Ava. I’d never had so many people comment on my bump or my pregnancy nor felt a human being kick, wriggle, twist and turn within me.


It was all new.


Yet with this pregnancy, at each stage, I knew what to expect.


And that knowing what was to come, sometimes caused me to be complacent. A bold statement to make, but I’m sure I’m not the only woman who has felt this way.


I attended my midwife appointment at 16 weeks and knew I’d get to hear the heartbeat.


Sure enough, the Doppler came out and the exciting words ‘lets have a listen to your baby shall we?’ were spoken.


I smiled and waited in anticipation. But I couldn’t help feeling in a state of complacency.


I loved hearing the individual beat of this little one and more importantly knowing that she was healthy and well. But, I knew right there and then that I’d slipped very quickly into complacency.


I made a conscious decision while waiting for the weeks ahead to come at feeling the baby’s first kicks, that complacency would no longer have a hold on me.


This baby is not Ava, nor is she Hope. She is her own individual person, created in Gods image and blessed to us by Him. She has been formed and specifically knitted together in my womb before I even knew she was coming. She will have her own personality, interests and characteristics. Her own pre-destined purpose and calling in life by God.


I made a decision to not allow complacency to creep in as it had been doing.


I choose now, to find the joy in all the moments to come before she arrives- even the heartburn! To embrace each little kick and flutter. To look forward with excitement and anticipation to the rippling of my tummy as she grows and all the other things I’m sure I’ve forgotten.


My love for her is not complacent because we have another child, so why should my pregnancy be?


I wonder what you’ve become complacent with? I wonder if your outlook needs to change? I wonder if you’ve been gliding along, knowing what to expect and almost taking it for granted as it comes?


Perhaps you’re facing the same challenge with your own children? With your first, every milestone was new and exciting. Yet now with your other children, their milestones or your reaction to them is one of complacency because you’ve been there before and know what to expect? You’ve become so busy now juggling more than one child, that moments of joy are missed or watered down. Perhaps you are robbed of a fresh joy in those moments. Joy is replaced with an attitude of complacency?


I’m convinced that if it is within any area that we need to avoid complacency, it is within the raising of our children!


Perhaps you’re in sales? You used to be passionate about your business, excitement stirring at every business deal. Now, one is no different from the next and the joy you used to experience is replaced with a numbing complacency?


Perhaps things aren’t good for you right now, and in all honesty they haven’t been for a while. Now you expect the same on a daily basis. You either expect things to get worse or just stay the same, but never any better. Any determination and hope you once had has now shifted into a spirit of complacency?


Maybe you used to reach out and help those within your community, a neighbour perhaps? Now you find yourself caught up in other things and presume someone else will help or that they’ll be ok. The determination and passion you once had to help, that fire and flare, has somehow burned out.


Finally, maybe you’ve become complacent in your walk with God. You’re in a season of waiting and so don’t bother praying at all now as you feel God will never answer. He pulled you out of your darkest pit and into abundant blessing, yet you’ve forgotten his faithfulness and actually have no relationship with Him at all now? Perhaps you just feel you have nothing to be thankful for or your life is so packed with busyness that any relationship with God is taken for granted and placed on the back burner? God will never fall into complacency in His relationship with you, He cares about you far too much. How do you feel about Him?


I believe God wants us to see things with fresh eyes. He hasn’t given us a life of abundant blessings to be seen through the eyes of complacency.


He has given you a life full of joy, love and laughter. Yes, we will encounter hard times, even more reason though to enjoy every moment of blessing joyfully, not merely dependant on whether we feel happy or not and avoid falling into the trap of complacency.


I believe complacency is a trap.


Complacency before now has robbed me of experiencing so much joy. Sometimes unwilling to have a ‘fresh eyes perspective’ and see each situation and experience with a new, positive and expectant outlook.


Waking up each day with fresh new eyes, willing to see every experience with a different lens, one that sees newness and enjoyment even out of something considered mundane, I believe will help us to avoid the trap of complacency.


Being thankful to God and praising Him for all we’ve been blessed with and how faithful He’s been, I believe will help us on this journey.


‘We, however, are so accustomed to the familiar sights and sounds around us that we scarcely ever take the time to contemplate these works of the Lord, in order to discover Him revealing Himself in them, and drawing us deeper into His kindness.

God’s kindness reaches us in the special blessings of life, where His covenant faithfulness superabounds toward us. Our spouses and children, talents and treasure, jobs and possessions, opportunities for growth and service, friends, special occasions — all these and more are blessings from the hand of God that produce special and enduring memories, causing us to rejoice and give thanks, and to recall the kindness of God.’ Crosswalk.com


1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

‘Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.’



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